Well She Said She Wanted More Dwarves
by Tyanilth
Summary: Set of 100 word drabbles set in a very AU future of The Hourglass.  Warden recruitment is having...certain problems ;


_**This is a string of 100 word drabbles set in the Awakening timeline and they are an answer to two different Cheeky Monkey challenges. One of those challenges was to write a DA piece in exactly 100 words. No less, no more. The other was to write about the recruitment of some seriously unlikely Wardens. I chose to combine the two challenges. And here they are. :)**_

_**This is set in the Hourglass universe, during the Awakening part of the story, but is definitely AU as regards the Hourglass story itself. So the recruiting wardens are Zevran and Oghren (read The Hourglass to understand why), the Warden Commander is Muirnara Cousland, and the Senior Warden they're reporting to is Loghain. I just had this idea that wouldn't quit...**_

* * *

><p>1)<p>

"Well, the Warden Commander did say she wanted to recruit more dwarves, Loghain, my friend. So we took the recruiting to Orzammar."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"She's going to hit the roof." Oghren scratched his nose. Then his backside.

"Why?" Loghain looked puzzled.

"Well, we got a bit carried away... We've got quite a few recruits." Zevran was still smirking.

"I still don't see why this is a problem. You had permission to recruit there, after all. It's not like you recruited Ruck or something..."

The Dwarf and the Elf looked at each other.

"Funny he should say that..."

* * *

><p>2)<p>

Ruck seemed disappointed that his "pretty lady" wasn't there, but his madness seemed no worse than in the Deep Roads.

Zevran opened the door. Brother Burkel marched in.

"What did you recruit *him* for?"

"Well, they'd burned his chantry. If we hadn't brought him, they'd have lynched him."

"Makers Blessings." Brother Burkel interjected. "It was the Maker's Will that I should be called to serve as a Warden"

Loghain sighed. "Why couldn't the Maker have willed that we got a normal group of recruits?"

"My friend, when have we ever had a normal group of recruits?"

"You have a point."

* * *

><p>3)<p>

"You'll be telling me next you recruited that idiot dwarf who kept losing his nugs."

"Loghain, my friend, did anyone ever tell you that you were psychic?"

"You didn't..."

"We did. Please allow me to present to you Warden Recruit Boermor"

Loghain buried his face in his hands. "At least tell me you didn't let him bring his nugs with him..."

"Only three of them, boss." Oghren assured him "The rest had run away again..."

"I'm surprised you didn't try to recruit the runaway nugs too."

"We did, boss. But they ran away before we could invoke the Right of Conscription"

* * *

><p>4)<p>

"So at least you managed without conscripting anyone"

"We only conscripted one."

"Why?"

"Well, they were trying to behead him at the time."

"I thought Orzammar didn't have a death penalty."

"Only for high treason."

"High trea...oh Maker's Breath. You didn't conscript Lord Harrowmont?"

"He'd have volunteered anyway, boss. But King Bhelen wouldn't let him go until we did."

Harrowmont saluted.

"Why would you have volunteered, Warden Recruit Harrowmont?"

"Well, Warden, this way I either die anyway, or I get twenty five years to recruit someone to poison that bastard Bhelen for me. Sounded like a win-win situation."

* * *

><p>5)<p>

"Please tell me that's the lot." Loghain appeared to be starting a headache.

"Well, we picked up two more dwarves on the way home." Zevran seemed to be saving some bad news for last.

"Surface dwarves?"

"Not exactly. We stopped by the Mage Tower."

"There aren't any dwarves in the Mage Tower, except...hold on. You recruited Dagna?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"She got fed up with studying magic, my friend. She now wants to study Wardens instead." Zevran informed him

"You don't have to -be- a Warden to do that."

"She says it's called "participant observation", boss."

"Maker help us all."

* * *

><p>6)<p>

"I'm not sure I even want to know who your last recruit is..."

Oghren laughed. "Well, at least this one isn't likely to have arguments with you, boss."

"That'll make a refreshing change from everyone else round here. Deaf and dumb, is he?"

"No, my friend Loghain. He just has a very limited range of conversational topics. In fact he only really has one."

Loghain looked at them both suspiciously. "And that one topic is?"

Zevran opened the door and the last Warden recruit walked in and smiled sweetly at Loghain.

"Enchantment?"

Loghain reached for the bottle of Antivan brandy.

* * *

><p>7)<p>

When Muirnara got home that night, the keep seemed strangely deserted. Loghain was the sole occupant of the Great Hall. And he had clearly been drinking. Heavily.

"Where is everyone?"

"Gone to peer at Zevran and Oghren's new recruits." He poured her a glass of brandy. "Sit down. You're going to need this."

She raised her eyebrows as she took the glass from him. "How much trouble are we in?"

"Well, they went recruiting dwarves as per your instructions."

"How bad can it be? You'll be telling me next they brought back Ruck and Sandal."

"Funny you should say that..."


End file.
